Which made it galling in the days immediately following discovery when he said he felt unloved and abandoned

Tryinghard. We sound so much alike. I supported my husband to the highest degree. I accepted long work hours, missing kids‘ school and sports events, etc because he was supporting the family. With the exception of mowing, I took on all the household duties. I never even asked him to “watch” the kids for me. If I had to go somewhere or do something (read: doctor’s appt, I didn’t do things just for me) I found someone to babysit. At the time it seemed normal. it’s just the way it was. I even set his clothes out for him each morning and put a clean towel on the rack. Little loving gestures. He can see now that HE is the one who gradually created the distance by letting someone else in emotionally and eventually physically. it is painful for him now. He misses all those loving gestures that I can’t seem to muster up the emotional energy to do right now. He sees clearly NOW what he had.

Hello! It has been a long time since i visited this site. However today i was pulled. Reading your comments, I realised one common thing from betrayed wives: we tend to focuse on physical appearance of OW. It is important for us not to focuse on that, because infidelity’s main reason is emotional, self- centered, self-serving and manipulative. And because of that the wrap of the package is not the indicator, but most importantly the package in itself. Therefore, all the participants lack self-reflection, self-restraint, they are like spoilt children doing whatever makes them temporarily feel good without thinking about consequences for them and/or effect it has on people around them.